Big Smiles

roo posing, originally uploaded by howtouseart.

Roo and I are both happy campers lately, especially since the brand new, fully functioning (and how!) laptop is here!! It is such a joy to be able to go to my computer and know that it will WORK and not have lines all over it from a cracked screen, ha ha! The added bonus is, since I now have a Mac with an intel chip (my last iBook didn't have one), I can now watch Netflix instantly on my computer - hooray!! Since I am my own boss, I decided to take a few days off just to relax and watch "Weeds" Seasons 1 and 2 on the pretty new computer. It was nice and refreshing, but now it's back to work with packing up Etsy orders and wrapping up a few custom orders that are in the works. I also came up with a new design that I am *dying* to show off, but it will have to wait until it is burned into a screen and printed on a t-shirt, since it will be so much more fun that way! Here's a hint: it has something to do with spinning yarn and sheep!

Digging through some old sketchbooks this week, it's so weird to reflect on who I was during the years I worked on those (when I was in college) and the person I am now. There was so much yearning and striving in those books.... I am glad I have accomplished some of the goals I was wishing for back then: I have my own website, I sell my art online, and I make a living (mostly) off of being creative. Hooray! There are still many more goals to aspire to, but at least I am taking baby steps toward them at this point... I'm glad I am more settled now with who I am and feel less of a need to be more, do more, etc...

But I do see myself relating to the person I was too: all the fears and insecurities I used to write about when it comes to making art are still there, but now I am realizing that those fears don't go away. There isn't some magic time in an artist's life where they wake up and realize all their creative fears have disappeared...you just have to banish the inner critics, push through it, and make stuff. Lots of stuff... It's still hard to approach a blank page and think, "I am going to draw something wonderful." Instead, maybe it's better to think, "I am going to TRY." There is so much to be said for stepping up to the plate and trying to be creative; so many people shy away from it... I'm happy every time I make something because I was brave enough to try, and I'm happy because being creative is satisfying in so many ways; I don't know where I'd be without my art. Probably in some crappy job counting down the hours 'til the end of the day, rather than wishing there were more hours in the day to work like I do now! :)